Developing a Positive Relationship with Food

Introduction

As we navigate our way through our third national lockdown, it is an understatement to say that, collectively, we are feeling stressed and hopeless. This, combined with the pressure of New Year’s resolutions,  can lead us racked with guilt surrounding food, which can then lead to unhealthy eating patterns. What is merely a biological necessity and should really be a positive element of our lives, quickly gets entangled with different emotions, ideas, memories, and rituals.

Personally, 10 years ago I ditched my unhealthy relationship with food, changed my mind-set, stopped dieting and in the process, I lost 4 stone (55 lbs) in weight. I wanted to share some ways to re-think our relationship with food and to eat mindfully, so you can enjoy your food again.  

Understand your own relationship with food

Before you start to work towards achieving a good relationship with food, it is important to understand the signs of a bad relationship with food. A good relationship with food has nothing to do with the quality of your diet, but rather why you choose the foods that you eat.    

Signs of a bad relationship with food:

·         You think certain foods are “bad”.

·         You are constantly on a diet, and when you eat something that is not “allowed” in the diet, you then binge eat. You  may continue to binge eat until you start your “diet”, the next day, the next week, the next month.

·         History of yo-yo dieting.

·         Ignoring your body’s natural hunger cues.

·         You eat when feeling angry or sad, so you don’t have to feel the emotion.

·         You eat as a reward for doing exercise. Or you may “punish” yourself with exercise if you have eaten something you deem bad.

·         You feel shame or guilt after eating certain foods.

·         Restrictive, or under eating.

·         Eating everything on your plate even though you are full.

·         You are unkind to yourself if you have eaten something you “shouldn’t” have.

Take some time-out and write down what emotions you feel when you are eating, and if you have noticed any of the above signs.

Developing a good relationship with food

Just like any relationship, this takes time and practice. There may be times when the negative behaviours creep in. Bringing awareness and kindness to your eating practices will slowly help you to change and help to ditch the guilt.

Mindful Eating

Bringing awareness to what we are eating helps to transform our relationship with food. It helps bring a deeper appreciation to everything we eat, which in turn helps us to learn what foods nourish us and make us feel good. It also helps us not to overeat, by noticing when we feel full.

Tips for mindful eating

·         Get rid of distractions. How often do we eat on the go, or when we are watching the TV? This prevents us from noticing when we are full.

·         Eat slowly and chew properly.

·         Engage your senses – this allows us to appreciate and savour our food.

·         Bring your attention back to the action of eating if you notice yourself being caught up in any emotions. Slowly bring yourself into the present and focus on the flavours and the texture of the food.

·         When we are more aware, we are calmer, and when we are calmer, we are more compassionate to ourselves.

Stop Dieting

Often when we restrict ourselves from certain foods; we give them labels such as “good” or “bad”. As soon as we tell ourselves we cannot have something, the more we crave it.

A research study demonstrated this phenomenon. A group of self-proclaimed restrictive dieters and non-dieters were given a milkshake and then put into private rooms where they could have as many cookies as they wanted.

Interestingly, non-dieters were much better at regulating their intake and stopped when they felt satisfied, while the dieters ate significantly more cookies. This was attributed to a process known as “counter-regulation”.

Essentially, the dieters felt that since the milkshake had already “broken” the rules of their restrictive diet, they might as well overeat the cookies (Sin, and Vartanian, 2012).

Instead, if you are craving chocolate or cake, eat it mindfully, and enjoy it. Tell yourself you are showing love to your body. Then continue to mindfully eat throughout the day appreciating the food. Learn to listen to your body, often it will tell you what foods you need.

Summary

As you navigate your relationship with food, remember that food isn’t inherently good or bad. It’s the labels you put on it that give it power.

A healthy, good relationship with food means welcoming all foods with no restrictions, seeing the value in food beyond calories, and remembering that your value as a human isn’t dictated by the food you eat.

Taking the first step to fixing a bad relationship with food is scary and difficult but well worth it in the long run.

Reference

 Sin, N. and Vartanian, L., 2021. Is Counter-Regulation Among Restrained Eaters A Result Of Motivated Overeating? pubmed.gov.